There are many support groups out there that target particular life experiences. Some are tied to mental health diagnoses, some are tied to addictions, some are tied to identity.

There are support groups for every problem imaginable. You might be surprised. It often feels like you are the only person in the world who is experiencing hardship. It is not true. Many people around the world are hurting the same way you are. Luckily, there are support groups out there—they just may be different than you expected.

You likely have student societies, clubs, or unions at your school. This is your first line of defence: finding other graduate students who are facing similar problems to you. If they don’t exist in your department, you can start one. It does not have to be an activist club. It can simply be a social club. If you bring up workplace issues, then you will at least find people to commiserate with.

However, you cannot only rely on graduate student friends, since they are likely going to be suffering the same abuse that you are. This makes them unreliable. Although it may be tempting, do not expect any university-sanctioned committees or councils to be helpful or understanding. In fact, you might expect them to obfuscate your problems. Make sure to at least diversify your graduate student contacts: make friends in other departments, schools, or cities.

Next, you likely have access to some kind of worker’s union for TAs or RAs. They will often have access to expertise on labour issues, organizing, and have lawyers on retainer. They may or may not prove to be helpful for your situation exactly, but at least they can give you the perspective of an organization whose job it is to oppose the university.

 

Mental health support groups

If you are to survive the institutional abuse you are currently suffering, it is very important to find help. In fact, it’s important to find a diversity of help. You may not currently realize it, but if you are being abused at work or school, it is likely that you have suffered abuse elsewhere as well. This doesn’t make you broken or bad or guilty of being abused, but just one of many, many people who have been trained to ignore it when others hurt them.

If you know that you suffer from a specific psychological diagnosis, or that someone in your family does, there are very likely support groups in your area. They can provide specific insight into how to find therapy, advice about medication, or simply a group of people willing to listen to your difficulties. Different support groups have different structures and attitudes. You may have to go through a few before you find the right one for you.

If you are unsure of a diagnosis, but know that you are feeling overwhelmed by emotions regularly, there are many therapy-related groups that exist. They often cost money to join, but there are sometimes free alternatives offered by local not-for-profit societies, hospitals, or churches. They may focus on a particular therapeutic framework, such as Cognitive or Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, or they may simply focus on wellness and mediation.

If you feel like you have even more severe symptoms of guilt and shame, or you know of physical, emotional, or substance abuse in your family, there are many “anonymous” support groups that focus on particular kinds of abuse. Groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous exist for alcoholics, but it is not as well known that Al-Alon is a different group that exists for partners and children of alcoholics. Similarly, Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families (ACA) offers a wide variety of anonymous support groups in different cities.

 

Why should I go to a group? Can’t I handle this alone?

It is tempting as a grad student to just try to fix things yourself. You have been trained to do that from the beginning of childhood and have had this reinforced time and again in school. The truth is, nobody can heal alone. And nobody can fix institutions, push back against their supervisor, or help their friends alone. You need help.

Not every support group will be for you, and you might feel very uncomfortable at first. However, keep going and you will find the support group that makes sense for you. It may end up being with a group of activists. It may end up being that you go to AA. It doesn’t matter. As long as it’s outside the university and you feel healthier going.